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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Break
Keep
Able
Afterlife
Wondering
Twenty
Twenties
Wonder

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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
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When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
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I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.
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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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