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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Able
Afterlife
Wondering
Twenty
Twenties
Wonder
Break
Keep
More quotes by Woody Allen
I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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I am plagued by doubts.
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Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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90% of success in life is showing up
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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I'm a creature of the New York City streets.
Woody Allen
