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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Bother
Probably
Hours
Death
Bothers

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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
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If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.
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If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting
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When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?
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I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
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