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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Mother
Believe
Spleen
Penetrated
Loaf
Accident
Fell
Accidents
Meat
More quotes by Woody Allen
Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs.
Woody Allen
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
Woody Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
Woody Allen
If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
Woody Allen
How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
Woody Allen
My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
Woody Allen
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen
I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers
Woody Allen
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Woody Allen
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
Woody Allen
In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.
Woody Allen
Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Woody Allen
I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
Woody Allen
My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one
Woody Allen
I think if you have a comic perspective, almost anything that happens you tend to put through a comic filter. It's a way of coping in the short term, but has no long term effect and requires constant, endless renewal. Hence people talk of comics who are always on. It's like constantly drugging your sensibility so you can get by with less pain.
Woody Allen
For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer.
Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
