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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Better
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Structure
Everybody
Existence
Change
More quotes by Woody Allen
I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
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The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
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The best things in life are censored.
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New York is my home and I have a particular fondness for it. I think it's a place where you can generate any kind of story wonderfully. But I also would be very happy to make a film in Paris or Rome.
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Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
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Those who can't do, teach!
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