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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Better
Live
Way
Would
Structure
Everybody
Existence
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
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I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
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Jazz is a big thing with me. It's a very big passion of mine, to play it. I'm an amateur musician and I love everything about it. I was obsessed with jazz when I was 15 years old and I know a lot about it because I've loved it so much.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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