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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
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The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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Whosoever loveth wisdom is righteous, but he that keepeth company with fowl is weird.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
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I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
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To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
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