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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Spontaneous
Critics
Completely
Public
Doesn
Film
Come
Hazard
Sometimes
Hazards

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Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
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Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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