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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Comedy
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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Death is an acquired trait.
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This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
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That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught.
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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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Every time you make a movie it's a new and different experience. You learn very little from the past. So, I'm a little bit better than I was when I first started.
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion.
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When I was a young man, my friends and I and all of us in New York were very influenced by French cinema. French cinema played an enormous influence on those of us who wanted to be filmmakers.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.
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I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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