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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Piano
More quotes by Woody Allen
My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
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I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
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That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
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Writing is great because in the writing you never have to... First of all you never have to leave your home. And you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing.
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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
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People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work.
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It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.
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Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
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