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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Moving
Heaviest
Tell
Piano
Earth
Figures
Need
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Needs
Already
Even
People
Comedy
More quotes by Woody Allen
I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
Woody Allen
Those who can't do, teach!
Woody Allen
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
Woody Allen
I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
Woody Allen
That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not.
Woody Allen
I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
Woody Allen
The heart wants what it wants.
Woody Allen
In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.
Woody Allen
I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
Woody Allen
