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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Needs
Move
Even
Already
People
Comedy
Funny
Moving
Tell
Heaviest
Earth
Piano
Need
Figures

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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
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The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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