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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Moving
Tell
Heaviest
Earth
Piano
Need
Figures
Needs
Move
Even
Already
People
Comedy
Funny

More quotes by Woody Allen

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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
Woody Allen
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I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
Woody Allen
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
Woody Allen
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Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.
Woody Allen
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That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
Woody Allen
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People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work.
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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
Woody Allen
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.
Woody Allen
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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
Woody Allen
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Woody Allen
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
Woody Allen
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
Woody Allen