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I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Child
Funny
Used
Blanket
Children
Electric
Nervous
Constantly
Humor
Sleep

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Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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I loathed every day and regret every moment I spent in a school.
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
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I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs.
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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name.
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In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it.
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My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.
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