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The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Vast
Parts
Wasteland
Humor
Curtain
Funny
Curtains
Certain
Rises
Jersey
Unlike
Primitive

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Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a position. If you want to say something about your position, you can just say it. You don't have to spend massive amounts of screen time.
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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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I do the movies just for myself like an institutionalized person who basket-weaves. Busy fingers are happy fingers. I don't care about the films. I don't care if they're flushed down the toilet after I die.
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I'm a creature of the New York City streets.
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off.
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I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
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I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.
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How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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