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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Humor
Essays
Boys
Ashamed
Eye
Glasses
Funny
Test
Tests
Wear
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Questions
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Asked
Essay
More quotes by Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
Woody Allen
When you write the script, you're home in a room by yourself, and you're writing, and there's no connection with the real performing world. So you get a lot of things wrong and make a lot of mistakes and make a lot of bad choices.
Woody Allen
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
Woody Allen
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
Woody Allen
When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
Woody Allen
Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
Woody Allen
What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
Woody Allen
Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.
Woody Allen
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
Woody Allen
Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
Woody Allen
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
Woody Allen
All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
Woody Allen
I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
Woody Allen
I foresee death by culture shock.
Woody Allen
Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
Woody Allen
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Woody Allen
But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
Woody Allen
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
