Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
Woody Allen
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Teaches
Teach
Audience
Funny
More quotes by Woody Allen
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Woody Allen
I never wanted to or expected to make a film outside of New York. New York became very, very expensive. The same $18 million spent in Barcelona or Rome goes much further there.
Woody Allen
Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
Woody Allen
I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
Woody Allen
In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
Woody Allen
I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen
Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
Woody Allen
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen
In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
Woody Allen
See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
Woody Allen
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Woody Allen
When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.
Woody Allen
I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
Woody Allen
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
Woody Allen
Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
Woody Allen
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
Woody Allen
