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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funny
Teaches
Teach
Audience

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
Woody Allen
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A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.
Woody Allen
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Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing.
Woody Allen
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
Woody Allen
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
Woody Allen
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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
Woody Allen
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
Woody Allen
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I think I've gotten technically better over the years but you'd have to be a fool not to. I've made so many movies that by sheer quantity you get better at the technique.
Woody Allen
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You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
Woody Allen
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
Woody Allen
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Woody Allen
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
Woody Allen
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
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Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.
Woody Allen
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The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
Woody Allen
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
Woody Allen
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
Woody Allen
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
Woody Allen