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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Went
Knew
American
Didn
Paris
Grown
Movies

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Regarding love what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.
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One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
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I loathed every day and regret every moment I spent in a school.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.
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Life's hard, then you die.
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The only love that lasts is unrequited love.
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You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
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I'm awash in self-contempt!
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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