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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Time
Morbidly
Obsessing
Distraction
Keeps
Sitting
Home
Great
Work

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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I see no advantages in aging whatsoever. You become shriveled. You become decrepit. You lose your faculties. Your peer group passes away. You sit in a room gumming your porridge. I don't see any advantage in this whatsoever.
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Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
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By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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I never ever see a film of mine after I release it to the public. I see it when I shoot it in my dailies and while I'm editing it, re-editing it and reshooting it and all that. By the time it's finished I never want to see it again.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
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Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
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I'm a terrible musician. While the band members are great, I'm tolerated and affectionately regarded because I do movies, but if I had to make my living as a musician I would starve. I'm like a Sunday tennis player.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
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How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works.
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