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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Keeps
Sitting
Home
Great
Work
Time
Morbidly
Obsessing
Distraction

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It's a wonderful thing to be able to create your own world whenever you want to.
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The artist can't give you an answer that's satisfying to the dreadful reality of your existence. So the best you can do is maybe entertain people and refresh them for an hour-and-a-half.
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In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
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I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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It has become harder and harder in the United States to make films unhampered by outside influences. I've always been able to steer clear of that and keep the business people out of my hair completely.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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My Lord, my Lord! What hath Thou done lately?
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Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations.
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I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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