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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Time
Morbidly
Obsessing
Distraction
Keeps
Sitting
Home
Great
Work
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Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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Marriage is the death of hope.
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When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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Why ruin a good story with the truth?
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I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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