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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wind
Went
Girl
Look
Psychoanalysis
Looks
Tease
Much
Marrying
Always
Neurotic
People
Younger

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Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind.
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Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
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Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.
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I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.
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