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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Never
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More quotes by Woody Allen
I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
Woody Allen
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
Woody Allen
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
Woody Allen
What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
Woody Allen
I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
Woody Allen
In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald.
Woody Allen
