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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Interested
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Never
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
Woody Allen
The French make two mistakes about me. They think I'm an intellectual because I wear these glasses and they think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
Woody Allen
Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen
My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
Woody Allen
I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had.
Woody Allen
I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.
Woody Allen
I am plagued by doubts.
Woody Allen
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.
Woody Allen
I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.
Woody Allen
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
Woody Allen
I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
Woody Allen
I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
Woody Allen
I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
Woody Allen
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
Woody Allen