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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
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Character Actor
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Film Director
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New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him.
Woody Allen
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
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I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody Allen
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody Allen
Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
Woody Allen
The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?
Woody Allen
American films, it's a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
Woody Allen
I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted.
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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.
Woody Allen
If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting
Woody Allen
Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.
Woody Allen
To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
Woody Allen
At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
Woody Allen
The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.
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