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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Law
Done
Abominations
Abomination
Lobster
Wearing
Particularly
More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.
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The film studios learned to our dismay but to their pleasure that if they spent $200 million making a film they could make half a billion on it. So they were not interested anymore in quality films... They can't afford to be that risky at those prices. Consequently you're getting a lot of remakes, sequels, dopey comedies full of toilet jokes...
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
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If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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