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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Thinking
Heterosexual
Bisexual
Lawyers
Lawyer
Sex
Become
Men
Think

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
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To me, movies are valuable as an art form and as a wonderful means of popular entertainment. But I think movies have gone terribly wrong.
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
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You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist.
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I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
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The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.
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I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
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[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
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And in all of Babylonia there was wailing and gnashing of teeth, 'til the prophets bade the multitudes get a grip on themselves and shape up.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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