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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Camp
Camps
Concentration
Rage
Stuck
Way
Life
Persecutors

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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
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Life's hard, then you die.
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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers
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Me and nature are two.
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If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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