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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Gave
Getting
Never
Grammy
Raped
Gifts
Busy
More quotes by Woody Allen
I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
Woody Allen
Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
Woody Allen
The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
Woody Allen
Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
Woody Allen
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Woody Allen
Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.
Woody Allen
I think that the tendency for most people is to fall back on a comic interpretation of things because things are so sad, so terrible. If you didn't laugh you'd kill yourself. But the truth of the matter is that existence in general is very very tragic, very very sad, very brutal and very unhappy.
Woody Allen
When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
Woody Allen
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
Woody Allen
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
Woody Allen
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody Allen
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody Allen
Once the movie's over, there's not much point. When the thing is edited, mixed, and color-corrected, and you've finished it... In my case, I never read anything about it, I never think about it.
Woody Allen
I am two with nature.
Woody Allen
I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
Woody Allen
Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
Woody Allen
When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be.
Woody Allen
I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
Woody Allen
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
Woody Allen
You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
Woody Allen
