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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Never
Grammy
Raped
Gifts
Busy
Gave
Getting
More quotes by Woody Allen
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
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I am plagued by doubts.
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American films, it's a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.
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A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
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Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue.
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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. . . they confuse everything I do with my life.
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When I'm not working, I think and I think when I get depressed.
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Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
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