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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Heart
Life
World
Brooklyn
Identity
Parents
Parent
Values
Come

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Of all human weakness obsession is the most dangerous. And the silliest.
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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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Some women feel power is important, some women feel that looks are important, tenderness, intelligence...but sense of humor seems to permeate all of them.
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts lie in comedy and so comedy comes fairly easy to me and I occasionally have an idea for a very serious piece and I do it, but the ideas don't come that readily to me.
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People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
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