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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Suffering
Life
Jury
People
Manage
Avoid
Tragedy
Despair
Filled
Duty
More quotes by Woody Allen
Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
Woody Allen
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Woody Allen
My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it.
Woody Allen
When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
Woody Allen
