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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Duty
Suffering
Life
Jury
People
Manage
Avoid
Tragedy
Despair
Filled
More quotes by Woody Allen
Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is.
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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.
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No, no, I'm a lowbrow. I read [Dostoevsky] more out of obligation than enjoyment. For enjoyment, for me, it's a beer and the football game.
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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I can levitate birds. No one cares.
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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