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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
God
Pass
Soon
Turn
Frown
Turns
Ankles
Persons
Upside
Person
Holding
Take
Stupidity
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.
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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
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You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym.
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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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I like writing. It keeps my mind off grim subjects. It's therapeutic in the same way a patient in an institution is given fingerpaints.
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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