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If you take a frown and turn it upside down, the person you are holding by the ankles will soon pass out.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Take
Stupidity
God
Pass
Soon
Turn
Frown
Turns
Ankles
Persons
Upside
Person
Holding
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The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage.
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic.
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Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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I see the glass half full...but of poison.
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
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I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
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Life is for the living.
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