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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Cool
Matter

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
Woody Allen
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
Woody Allen
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Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
Woody Allen
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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Woody Allen
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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
Woody Allen
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Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge.
Woody Allen
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I'm generally not a social dramatist or comedy writer. My interests have always been more in psychological stories or personal relations and comic ideas.
Woody Allen
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
Woody Allen
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
Woody Allen
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
Woody Allen
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
Woody Allen
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I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
Woody Allen
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody Allen
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Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
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I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
Woody Allen
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Woody Allen
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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
Woody Allen