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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Unless
Everybody
Guy
Enjoy
Anything
Someplace
Starving
Puts
Evening

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Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
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Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative
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There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
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Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.
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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
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One filmmaker makes films that are deep, intellectual, profound and confrontational. And the other one makes purely vacuous, escapist films. I'm not sure the one who makes escapist films is making a poorer contribution than the one who makes the deeper films.
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I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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