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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Hard
Heart
Thing
Life
Says
Head
Another
Together
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
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Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
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Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?
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And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
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I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.
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I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
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