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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Hard
Heart
Thing
Life
Says
Head
Another
Together

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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
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Take the money and run.
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly.
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things.
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No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
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Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
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If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
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I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
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