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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Feel
Told
Feels
Bits
Important
Two
Years
Women
Like
Littles
Refreshment
Music
Refreshments
Reason
Reasons
Little
Humor

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I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.
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Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard.
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.
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In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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