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I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Always
Would
Director
Blind
Directors
Funny
Film
Thought
More quotes by Woody Allen
Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
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You can't anticipate in the room the riches of what you encounter when you're location hunting for a movie.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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As the author you know how you want it to appear on screen and it's always the content dictating the form.
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You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office? All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.
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I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it.
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See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.
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How am I immature? Intellectually, emotionally, and sexually. Yeah, but in what other ways?
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I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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[The universe is] haphazard, morally neutral, and unimaginably violent.
Woody Allen
Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
Woody Allen
There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.
Woody Allen
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
Woody Allen
