Quote

My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Jokes
Years
Gift
Make
Comedy
Write
Tell
Found
Done
Writing

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
You can't ride two horses with one behind.
Woody Allen
Image
Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
Woody Allen
Image
If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
Woody Allen
Image
I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything.
Woody Allen
Image
I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen
Image
In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.
Woody Allen
Image
Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
Woody Allen
Image
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
Image
I carry a bullet in my breast pocket. Once, a crazy evangelist threw a bible at me, which would have gone through my heart if it wasn't for the bullet.
Woody Allen
Image
It's all through the actors I cannot write in that idiom
Woody Allen
Image
Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.
Woody Allen
Image
When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
Woody Allen
Image
He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Woody Allen
Image
At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
Woody Allen
Image
No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.
Woody Allen
Image
Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
Woody Allen
Image
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
Woody Allen
Image
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
Image
Boy, the food at this place is really terrible. The other one says, Yeah, I know and such small portions. Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly.
Woody Allen
Image
I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­
Woody Allen