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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Life
Tragic
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Often
Felt
Unrelentingly
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Uphill
More quotes by Woody Allen
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
Woody Allen
If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
Woody Allen
Life is like a concentration camp... you can't leave without dying.
Woody Allen
You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office? All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.
Woody Allen
People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me--it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one.
Woody Allen
Life is for the living.
Woody Allen
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody Allen
People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
Woody Allen
I can levitate birds. No one cares.
Woody Allen
Standard mathematics has recently been rendered obsolete by the discovery that for years we have been writing the numeral five backward. This has led to reevaluation of counting as a method of getting from one to ten. Students are taught advanced concepts of Boolean algebra, and formerly unsolvable equations are dealt with by threats of reprisals.
Woody Allen
Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
Woody Allen
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
Woody Allen
Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
Woody Allen
What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
Woody Allen
I didn't go to Paris until I was a grown-up in 1965. And when I went to Paris, it was the Paris I knew only from American movies.
Woody Allen
Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
Woody Allen
You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
Woody Allen
I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
Woody Allen