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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Cannot
Certain
Doe
Thing
Superstitions
Think
Exist
Thinking
Bits
Worst
Belief

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
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He's a politician. That's a notch below child molester.
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Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
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All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood I was breast-fed through falsies.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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The best things in life are censored.
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.
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[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
Woody Allen