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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Belief
Cannot
Certain
Doe
Thing
Superstitions
Think
Exist
Thinking
Bits
Worst

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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I had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody Allen
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I love baseball. You know, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just very beautiful to watch.
Woody Allen
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Honey, there's a spider in your bathroom the size of a Buick.
Woody Allen
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
Woody Allen
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You use sex to express every emotion except love.
Woody Allen
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But it was I - yes I - who discovered the link between excessive masturbation and entry into politics!
Woody Allen
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
Woody Allen
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I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.
Woody Allen
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.
Woody Allen
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
Woody Allen
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
Woody Allen
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At the trial Stubbs chose to act as his own lawyer, but a conflict over his fee led to ill feelings.
Woody Allen
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
Woody Allen
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I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen