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I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Think
Exist
Thinking
Bits
Worst
Belief
Cannot
Certain
Doe
Thing
Superstitions

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
Woody Allen
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There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
Woody Allen
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The best things in life are censored.
Woody Allen
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Woody Allen
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
Woody Allen
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There's nothing good about getting older-absolutely nothing-because the amount of wisdom and experience you gain is negligible compared to what you lose. You do gain a couple of things-you gain a little bittersweet and sour wisdom from your heartbreaks and failures and things-but what you lose is so catastrophic in every way.
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I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in braille. I used to rub the dirty parts.
Woody Allen
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
Woody Allen
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In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee.
Woody Allen
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
Woody Allen
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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
Woody Allen
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This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?
Woody Allen
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
Woody Allen
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
Woody Allen
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's.
Woody Allen