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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Dying
Works
Achieve
People
Descendants
Immortality
Prefer

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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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Not think of death as an end, but think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs.
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If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo.
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You're a genius! And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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When we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.
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