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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Express
Anger
Instead
Grow
Grows
Tumor
Tumors

More quotes by Woody Allen

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I can live in Paris for four months or London or, you know, Barcelona. These are places that are like New York. But I don't think I could live in many places. When I had to make a film in the United States I picked San Francisco because to me it's one of the great cities of America.
Woody Allen
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
Woody Allen
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
Woody Allen
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My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.
Woody Allen
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
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We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let's hope we make the right choice.
Woody Allen
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
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There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
Woody Allen
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I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.
Woody Allen
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
Woody Allen
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He was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.
Woody Allen
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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
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Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?
Woody Allen
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly.
Woody Allen
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
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Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!
Woody Allen
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
Woody Allen
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
Woody Allen