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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Tumor
Tumors
Express
Anger
Instead
Grow
Grows

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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing.
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children.
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Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.
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I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields.
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Humorists always sit at the children's table.
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No, I don't think you're paranoid. I think you're the opposite of paranoid. I think you walk around with the insane delusion that people like you.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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