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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Made
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Awful
Fortune
Taste
Health
Tastes
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Store
More quotes by Woody Allen
You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.
Woody Allen
Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.
Woody Allen
If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
Woody Allen
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.
Woody Allen
Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody Allen
I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
Woody Allen
When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
Woody Allen
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
Woody Allen
For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
Woody Allen
Science is an intellectual dead end, you know? It's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.
Woody Allen
It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen
My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.
Woody Allen
God is either cruel or incompetent.
Woody Allen
he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something
Woody Allen
In every generation there are a few people who are authentically funny. The cosmetics change. You may not be able to articulate it, and you may laugh at them and get a certain amount of enjoyment. But when you're asleep at night, and you wake up at 3 in the morning, and you're alone in your bed, you know who's really funny.
Woody Allen
I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
Woody Allen
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
