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This stuff tastes awful I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Taste
Health
Tastes
Food
Culinary
Stuff
Store
Made
Stores
Selling
Awful
Fortune
More quotes by Woody Allen
I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
Woody Allen
The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
Woody Allen
If you meet somebody and are attracted to someone, and the exquisite neurons in your brain and her brain intermesh properly, then things can be wonderful. It's not like homework. You don't have to work at the relationship.
Woody Allen
I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
Woody Allen
I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
People think I'm an artist because my films lose money.
Woody Allen
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen
You use sex to express every emotion except love.
Woody Allen
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes.
Woody Allen
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
Woody Allen
Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
Woody Allen
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
Woody Allen
I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
Woody Allen
Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
Woody Allen
The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.
Woody Allen
This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't.
Woody Allen
History is the same thing over and over again.
Woody Allen
How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not the thing with feathers. The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich.
Woody Allen
