Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Table
Deceased
Tables
Buffets
Cooking
Potato
Food
Salad
Wonderful
Potatoes
Culinary
Funeral
Buffet
Grandfather
Replica
More quotes by Woody Allen
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.
Woody Allen
Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
Woody Allen
You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
Woody Allen
I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
Woody Allen
As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions.
Woody Allen
I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
Woody Allen
All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Woody Allen
Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
Woody Allen
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Woody Allen
There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
Woody Allen
I cannot say for certain that God does not exist I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.
Woody Allen
That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art if the thing’s real, it just lives.
Woody Allen
I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.
Woody Allen
See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.
Woody Allen
I see the glass half full...but of poison.
Woody Allen
The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
Woody Allen
My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.
Woody Allen
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen