Quote

My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.

Woody Allen

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Funeral
Buffet
Grandfather
Replica
Table
Deceased
Tables
Buffets
Cooking
Potato
Food
Salad
Wonderful
Potatoes
Culinary

More quotes by Woody Allen

Image
Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
Woody Allen
Image
Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully.
Woody Allen
Image
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Woody Allen
Image
All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.
Woody Allen
Image
I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.
Woody Allen
Image
What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
Woody Allen
Image
Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.
Woody Allen
Image
Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.
Woody Allen
Image
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Woody Allen
Image
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
Image
Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
Woody Allen
Image
My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
Woody Allen
Image
I feel humor is important for those two reasons: that it is a little bit of refreshment like music, and that women have told me over the years that it is very, very important to them.
Woody Allen
Image
Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
Image
Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
Woody Allen
Image
You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office? All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.
Woody Allen
Image
Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.
Woody Allen
Image
Your audience teaches you how to be funny.
Woody Allen
Image
I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
Woody Allen
Image
I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen