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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Food
Salad
Wonderful
Potatoes
Culinary
Funeral
Buffet
Grandfather
Replica
Table
Deceased
Tables
Buffets
Cooking
Potato
More quotes by Woody Allen
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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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Me and nature are two.
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I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it.
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