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I don't believe in God. Just try getting a plumber on the weekend.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Trying
Believe
Plumber
Weekend
Spirituality
Getting
More quotes by Woody Allen
Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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Why ruin a good story with the truth?
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Love may be the answer, but even though you're watching for the solution, intercourse raises some rather interesting thoughts.
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
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I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them.
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Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
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Drama, it would be as if you wrote some poetry. You'd run the risk of being embarrassed if people read it, because you're pouring your heart out and you're not mitigating it with any humor or anything.
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Take the money and run.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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Fantasy is only a state of mind that you can employ when existing in a real context.
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Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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I was a smart kid and I was not understood by my parents.
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
Woody Allen
